Lots of wonderful preparations underway for a Celebration of Life (COL) for Dan on September 27th…all the information is below.  I really hope we see a lot of you there…and I know that those of you who live far away will be with us in spirit as we celebrate Dan by putting on an event that has his spirit shining through! 

Also, just to let you know that the contributions to the (Diana Krall BMT & Lekemia Centre) VGH & UBC Hospital Foundation have now topped $11,000…absolutely overwhelming.  This means that Dan is now considered a ‘major donor’ and, as such, his name will be etched on a beautiful glass wall at the doors of the centre…  He would just love that   Bless you all for this.

Read on for the details on the celebration of Life…and make sure you email for the eVite so that you can RSVP!!!

Big hugs, Tanya xoxox 

A Celebration of Life For Daniel

A Special Mass for Dan

Sunday, September 27^th at 2 pm

Tea and cakes to follow at 3 pm

St James Church, 303 East Cordova St.

For those of you who would like to celebrate Dan’s life in this way – through themes he loved – of “O”, journeying, and the miracle of living life on this wonderful Earth. 

Family and friends are invited to a quiet “tea and cakes” in the Bishops Room following the service.

To enter the church, come to the corner of Gore and Cordova…up the big steps

FOLLOWED BY…

The Main Event:  A Celebration of Life for Danny

Sunday, September 27^th from 4 pm to 9pm

The Parish Hall “230 Gore North” next to St. James

Let’s gather and celebrate who Dan was – in the spirit of Dan – as he would love.

DJs, music from Dan’s ipod , scrabble & other games, writing, songs, live music,

karaoke, finger yummies, drinks (bring your special “toasts”), dancing…

…and a couple of special “group” moments

St James Parish Loction:  On Gore or Cordova  

Parking:  Lots of street parking.

Dress:   Come as you – circles optional!

Your RSVP’s:  

For either of the two events we would appreciate your RSVP

so we have a sense of the numbers to expect. 

Email Dan’s sister, Erin at happyerin23@hotmail.com for an EVite if you don’t get one!

Bring a dish: 

Dan loved a “potluck”  J  So; the planners felt that everyone might like to contribute a dish of finger food at Danny’s COL.  You can see a suggested list of dishes on the EVite – and you can let us know what you’d like to bring J

Send us a picture:

If you have one picture of you and Dan (or a group) that you’d like included in the picture show we’re creating for the event, we’d love to have it!  Decent scanned pictures are fine.

Send it to Dan’s sister, Naomi, at naomirocks77@gmail.com asap!

Scrapbooks:

The family would love to have scrapbooks full of your Dan stories – to help us remember Dan through

 Write whatever you wish…or here are a couple of themes:      ”My favorite Danny memory”    “Fun & adventure with Dan” stories (with drawings/pics if possible)   ”What Danny meant to me & what we learned together”

If you want to actually write them up in advance, write them on a circle no more than 6×6”  so we can have them in circle shapes for the scrap books when you can bring with them with you.  We’ll have a ton of stuff for you to decorate them with at the scrapbook table.  Feel free to bring pictures, cartons or clippings to ‘add’ to the story

Yay!  Another “Roam” Screening

On Thursday, September 24^th, there will be 2 screenings of Dan’s “Roam” film at Studio 31 (capacity: 100…so come early…and tell everyone..)…details at www.thezerohundredblock.com

                                                                                                                                           CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU ALL, T

It’s hard to believe Dan has been gone over a month ago now.  I have wanted to do a write up about the 3 day vigil following Dan’s death and his amazing burial…but it became necessary for the whole family to take some “time out” after the intensity of the period before and after Dan died….and now we are sorting and packing up all Dan’s belongings and dreams as we vacate his apartment before the end of the month.  As soon as I can, I really would like to share some of this with you because it was so uplifting and just as Dan would have wanted.

However, for now, I just wanted you to let you know right away that Carolyn Jarvis from Global (National) TV just called today to say that her program “16×9” which ran Dan’s story back in April deemed it their top story of the past year – and are going to run it again this Sunday at 7 pm.  Apparently literally millions of people watched it…and 100’s phoned or wrote in to them about it.

So, do tune in if you’d like to see it again.  Global National TV (program “16×9”) on Sunday, July 26^th at 7 pm…or Google the show afterwards and you’ll be able to watch it off their website.

While I’m here, I also must thank all of you for the amazing emails, cards and flowers following Dan’s death…  You literally carried us through on your wings with these heartfelt offerings.  Every message, flower delivery and card bought fresh tears and aching hearts…but also brought healing smiles at the wonderful memories and sentiments you shared.  We’re so grateful and promise to answer every one….but it will take a little time.   

For those who sent in a cheque to me for the VGH & UBC Foundation in Dan’s memory, you will be thrilled to know that over $5000 has come in over the past three weeks…and seems to be continuing.  

We are adding it to the money Dan raised at his “Roam” event and tomorrow we are taking $10,000 into the Foundation for safe-keeping.  We are not done yet!  Several people have offered to assist in seeing if we can get the corporate community involved in matching dollars and growing the pot as much as we can.  Dan wanted the money raised to go to the Diana Krall Leukemia and BMT Centre at VGH…a place he spent a lot of time at…that literally kept him going for many months.  We are in touch with Diana’s sister who met Dan, and his sister, Erin, a couple of months ago.  She has offered to mentor us through the process of ensuring that we create the meaningful legacy that Dan would have wanted.  So, stay tuned…more on that later

Once we are through the move, we will start to focus on the Celebration of Dan’s Life…and some of the legacy projects he had started…and will live on in.

I miss Dan every moment, and have some incredibly weepy times…but I couldn’t be more grateful for his life: the richness of it…and the incredible love & friendship shared through it, which continues to connect you to me and Erin and the rest of the family.  May it always be so.   So, I want to leave you all with one more Dan story that I think will make you all smile…and wonder…

As you all know by now, Dan was all about circles.  You may have read his piece on “Orbicularity” (Secondary Evolutionary Theory) on this Blog!  He wore circle design shirts, he wrote in books with circle designs on the cover, he had a circle stamp he put on everything he created, and he was buried with his much loved circle ring (circles within circles).  His fascination & passion for Physics, Astronomy and Cellular Biology all stemmed from this.

One month ago, today, when we gave Dan his “green” burial; 104 people travelled with us to Victoria and stood in a circle around his shrouded body for almost 2 hours; sharing what was in their hearts through song, stories, poems, salutations, smiles, tears and even silence.  Many written circles went into the ground with Dan’s body as we buried him.

The immediate family stayed that night with Myke and Wendy (my brother & sister-in-law)…and I retired a little early.  As I was washing my face, I looked in the mirror…and my heart almost stopped.  

On a chain around my neck I was wearing a large moonstone that Dan had given me, right next to a very old moonstone cross that belonged to my great, great grandmother.  The moonstone cross was five small moonstones tall and 3 small moonstones across.   

Here’s the heart-stopper.  The middle moonstone had fallen out (where I do not know, but I’d like to think it might have fallen into Dan’s grave).

In it’s place, in the centre of the cross, looking like it was meant to be there…was a perfect circle.

Love, Tanya

So… here we are…. at the end of one journey, and at the beginning of another one – for Dan, and for us who loved him – as we each find our way towards letting him go on without us.

Dan – always the adventurer, the explorer of the realms and the boundaries of what it means to live in the fulness of life, with all its creative possibilities.

Dan believed in the power of love, in human beings connecting, in creating magic, and in the  work of a lifetime – that is, to be fully present in the experience of living, however painful and difficult it might sometimes be – and to be continually astonished by life.

Dan, the explorer, and yes, Dan the gentle warrior.  Unflinching in his pursuit of an authentic life, never faltering in his will to live who he was and what he believed in, he showed his commitment to his path in life through the choices he made.  Above all, Dan chose love.

These are powerful acts of courage, and because he so willingly shared them with us, they are acts of great generosity and deep intimacy.

Intimacy because Dan beckoned, welcomed, enticed and invited us to join him in his world – where, surely, there was magic afoot.  It was hard not to be seduced by Dan’s sense of wonder, even if we didn’t always understand him.  He took us places we most likely would never have gone without him.

Even in the face of his illness, Dan didn’t waver.  He invited us to share his experiences, even the really tough ones.  Offering this opportunity to us, his diverse and loving family and friends, shows Dan’s true character – his openness, his willingness to trust us and travel to the heart of things, together.

Dan was determined to live true to his sense of who he was, and he was not easily swayed by what others thought he should do.  That he was able to continue to do this throughout the course of his illness was in large part because of the extraordinary strength, support and advocacy he received from his sister Erin.  Erin, whose capacity to love, and to manifest that love through action, knew no bounds in caring for Dan.   Dan was truly blessed to have Erin by his side every step of the way.

And his mother Tanya  – the three of them together were a force to be reckoned with.   She has endured a mother’s heartbreak with dignity, courage, great wisdom, and enduring compassion for others.  She has invited laughter, and even joy, to the table of her loss. The poet Tagore speaks about the “joy that sits still with its tears on the open red lotus of pain.”

Dan’s parents, his sisters and brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles, and his many friends all gave him great gifts of love and support during his illness and Dan was blessed to have them in his life, for they are remarkable individuals, every one of them.

Dan and his family made it possible for each of us to give what we could, be who we are, and bring what we had to bring to the experience  – without judging us or having any expectations about what that should look like, and they continued to love, love, love, and welcome us -  without turning away from the complexities of what it means to live, and – yes – to die.

I have thought a lot about why Dan left us so soon.  I know how incredibly hard it is, and will be, for everyone who loved him, to let him go.  I’ve known Dan since he was a small boy, when our families were neighbours at UBC Family Housing.  Over the years, I have often felt that he was somehow too big for his body – that it just couldn’t contain all his originality, energy, vitality, life force and sense of wonder.

I had a chance to sit, at sunset, with Dan after his passing.  As the sun slanted in through the shuttered windows, it painted streaks of gold on Dan’s still face.  I half expected and hoped he would open those beautiful, piercing blue eyes one last time, but his work here was done.

I will be forever grateful to Dan, and to my beloved friend Tanya, to Erin, and the rest of Dan’s family for sharing their beautiful Dan and his life, as well as his death, with us.

To his family I say, yes, though the world has forever shifted on its axis, and we cannot go back, what we have learned through Dan will stay with us always.  For Dan was also a gifted teacher.   Among the many important things he taught us, perhaps the most important was to choose love, to always choose love.

Eulogy spoken by Charlotte Ensminger at Dan’s burial on June 23, 2009.

 Dan wanted to be buried simply in a shroud in the earth with nature all around him and only a stone with his circle symbol to mark the spot.

 This is to let you know that Dan’s ‘green burial’ takes place this Tuesday at 1:30 pm at the Royal Oak Burial Park

 http://www.robp.ca/  

Royal Oak Burial Park

4673 Falaise Drive

Victoria BC V8Y 1B4

Tel: 250-658-8511

You are welcome to join us there.  Travelling from Vancouver, the 11 am ferry from Tsawwassen to Schwartz Bay should get you there in time.  If you are driving you may want to book it to ensure you get on it.  The burial park is about 15 or 20 minutes from the ferry.

When you get to the Royal Oak Burial Park, please drive to the office…and we will walk as a group from there… 

Just know this will be a simple and spontaneous time, with people speaking, or not, as they wish – guided by several close family members and friends.  As we will be a very eclectic gathering, anything will go in terms of what or how we express ourselves.  Dan would like that.  He travelled through 42 different countries in his short life…and respected every expression of love for God, loved this wondrous Earth, and lived fully the gift of this amazing miracle of Life.

That said, many have indicated a wish to say or bring some words.  Bring your words in plain, song, or poem form…   As Dan loved circles, we’ll stand in one and we’d like you to have your words printed in written form on a circular piece of paper (cut the circle around your words) when you come.  Make them as plain or as colourful as you want to. 

This will be, as Dan wanted, a DIRECT EARTH BURIAL: where Dan’s human remains will be returned to the earth to decompose naturally and contribute to new life. If you would like, we will bury your ‘word circles’ with Dan.  Remember to use only paper that will easily decompose with Dan.  If you can’t make it, but want to send some words, we will promise to include them

A memorial celebration of Dan’s life will be in about one month’s time

Your concern, hugs, love and prayers have truly inspired and sustained us and Dan for almost a year…and we ask for them now to guide Dan to serenity and peace.

Gifts in memorium:

For those of you who are asking and want to acknowledge Dan’s death in a way that would mean a lot to him, here’s what the family thinks he would love:

Remember how Dan’s “Roam” benefit raised just under $6000 for the The Diana Krall Leukemia & BMT Centre – a Leukemia patients outpatients day care centre that he spent a lot of time at and appreciated so very much?

Well, what Dan had wanted to do was to challenge a big corporation in Vancouver like Vancouver City Savings to match those funds so that he could make the ‘pot’ grow.  Unfortunately, by the time he had raised the original funds, his health began to fade and he did not complete the second leg of that journey – so we are going to now do that for him.

The difference is that if we could make Dan’s pot even bigger than the original $6K pot, we could perhaps raise even more money from Vancouver City Savings by asking them to not only double the pot, but to challenge other corporations & Associations to do the same.  We’d like to call this pot “Dan’s Dream Fund for Leukemia”

Please consider writing a cheque “in memory of Daniel Northcott” to The VGH & UBC Hospital Foundation and mailing the cheque to me at:

            Tanya Northcott

            #121 – 525 Wheelhouse Square

            Vancouver, BC, V5Z 4L8

I will gather all the cheques and put them together with the “Roam” event funds to be designated through the VGH and UBC Hospital Foundation to The Diana Krall Leukemia & BMT Centre. 

If your cheque has your name and address printed on it, or has your name and address stapled to it, and is for more than $60; you will receive a tax receipt for it in the mail.  If you can’t afford $60, you won’t get the tax receipt, but every $10 will help Dan’s dream fund to grow.

With so much love and appreciation from the whole family, Tanya & Erin

His sister, Erin, stepfather Rocky, and I were with him at home when he died and it was peaceful and beautiful.  His face is serene, like he knows something special.  It is so hard to let him go…..but something we have always had to do with Dan.

To the very end, Dan never gave up the will to live…and his message to us is never to forget the miracle that we get to live this life at all.

Dan wanted to be buried simply in a shroud in the earth with nature all around him and only a stone with his circle symbol that we all know so well to mark the spot.

This (a green funeral) will be done on Tuesday or Wednesday of this week at the Royal Oak Burial Park in Victoria…we will let you know….anyone is welcome to join us.  

Sometime in the future we will all gather as his ‘earth family’ to celebrate Dan’s unique life and how it has touched us all.

Your love and prayers have sustained us…and we ask for them now to guide Dan to serenity and peace.

Love…..Tanya

After 3 weeks of really hard work, without pain medication or antibiotics, Dan had overcome his liver problems and was on the road to regaining control of his health.  It had not been easy, but along with his sister Erin’s constant presence & support, I think Dan had proved to himself and all of us the power of his focus and his spirit.

On Friday evening (April 24th), several of us ‘regular helpers’ including Erin, me, his friend Kion and cousin Paul were at Dan’s apartment as he’d had a rough afternoon at the Leukemia Day Clinic.  He had also been experiencing high temperature fluctuations for the past several days and had put off going to get a transfusion too long and gone in late.  So, the Clinic had only given him one bag of blood instead of the two or three that he really needed – telling him to return the next day.  He was pretty weak and needed help getting to the bathrrom.  On the way back, with his arm over Erin’s shoulder and me hovering behind, I saw him start to slip and realized he was passing out.

With him lying there on the floor, we immediately call 911.  Soon, 5 or 6 paramedics were in the apartment.  Dan by now had revived and was insisting he was not going anywhere. On taking his blood pressure, paramedic Greg determined it was 60/0 (YIKES!!! …normal is 120/80!!) with a heart rate near 200 …He said he’d never seen such a low blood pressure in nine years…especially with someone who did not want to go to the hospital!  Dan was convinced that only very bad things happened to him when he got into the hospital….and that in hospital they would undo everything he had build back up all by himself. 

So, there we were; Dan on the floor, with a saline solution dripping into him, a life-threatening hardly existant blood pressure and five burly paramedics wringing their hands and saying “you’ve got to go, Buddy; you’ve just gotta go!”  Finally, Dan and Erin were convinced that there was no choice and off they went in an ambulance…with Kion and I following in my car.

We almost lost him that night.  

Dan was immediately sent to Station A of the Emergency ward Trauma Bay, and was trying not to accept the intravenous antibiotics, oxygen and medications necessary to stabilize him when I arrived.  By now he had water on his lungs and a raging infection – of what they did not yet know.  The night, noone slept and we prayed and prayed that his blood pressure would come up and his heart rate down. 

Finally, the next day, exhausted, we made it up to the 15th floor of the Jimmy Pattison Building of VGH (the Leukemia/BMT ward)… but even there, with all the wonderful & sympathetic nurses, Dan had an impossible time of it…8 pints of blood and several bags of platelets had gone into him in just over 24 hours. At first it went through him like water and wouldn’t ‘stick’ – so his hemoglobin, potassium and phosphates levels were really dangerously low.  He had refused all pain medication, but finally gave into more antibiotics….and piles of intravenous saline solutions.  Finally, his hemoglobin went up.  His biggest problems, it was determined, was that he had a serious blood infection, liquid on his lungs and huge trouble breathing, even though he was on oxygen.  More tests, more oxygen, unable to lie down because of the water on the lungs, more antibiotics – neither Dan, Muffy or I were able to sleep a wink.

Apparently, what happens when your body is in such distress, the brain goes into high alert.  It starts sending urgent messages out to your body not to sleep.  The minute you close your eyes, it sends you awful, vivid hallucinations.  No matter how exhausted you are, you can’t sleep…it won’t let you.  For Dan, these hallucinations were crazy/ zombie-like people in the room – just grinning and leering at him, waiting for him to join them.  He later said it was like “a Hell”.  For most of the following week, he just looked haunted and we were told he was suffering PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome)…like so many soldiers who face the absolute horrors of war and suffer this as a consequence – and my guess is that, for the first time, he did not know what to do or what was going to happen.  He had lost the plot.  We were all scared. 

However, we all knew, even though it was a Sunday, and the nurses and doctors were working hard to stabilize him, Dan needed to come home to our place…no matter what the outcome.  As he said, he was not mentally and emotionally able to bear another night there.

Erin & Bousse spent the day keeping Dan calm & fed while Tanya and Rocky rushed around trying to get our space ready for Dan, and Erin, who was not leaving his side.  The hospital staff pulled out all the stops.  Somehow, they were able to obtain oxygen for us.  We were able to get a wheelchair from Rocky’s sister….and by 9 pm on Sunday night, we were able to bring Dan home.  We moved Dan in the wheel chair and on oxygen to Rocky’s and my place, literally set up like a hospital unit at home.  Rocky likened it to a MASH unit!

This was all done on the condition that Dan go into the Leukemia Day Clinic every day that week to be given whatever he needed to stabilize.

   
For the next three days, Dan’s vital signs slowly regularized although we could not call him stable. Our biggest worry was that he was still psychologically destroyed due to nightmares while sleeping.  He just looked so thin and so traumatized.  We wondered if he would ever regain his equilibrium.  Erin continued to feed him whatever he would take and sleep on a mattress at the foot of his bed – so that she could be there whenever he needed her.

Slowly, slowly, the hemoglobin began to stabilize and so did the rest of his vital signs.  His mental & emotional state was still so fragile, his voice a whisper…but the need for oxygen was disappearing and his appetite was reappearing. The doctors had predicted it would take 2 or 3 weeks for Dan to recover…but one week later, Dan started sleeping 11 hour nights without nightmares…and that turned everything around.

Today, I can honestly say that Dan has turned the corner.  Good friends have been over to help are now enjoying a movie with him at night.  Although he was ‘skin and bone’, Erin is packing food and supplements into him…and we have returned to the naturopathic course we were on…of which even the doctors at the hospital say “whatever you were doing, keep doing it”.

Dan’s colour and voice are back, he’s sleeping peacefully through the night without horrible dreams, and is back on his computer – a very good sign – and has been talking to AJ about the final edits to his films.  Best of all, Leticia has returned from Paris to see him!!   Although, due to a really bum leg, he’s still in a wheelchair, we can see that he’s made tremendous progress. Two evenings ago, the sun broke out, so we even got him out on the Seawall for a ride. He’s pretty engaged and starting to look and sound a lot like Dan!

I cannot say enough, through all of this, how in awe I am of Erin…and Dan. 

Two things strike me …

It turns out that the raging blood infection that almost finished Dan is one that is only picked up in hospitals…ironically where Dan has to go for blood & platelets.  His instincts about trying to stay away from the hospital and let his body heal itself are actually pretty sound.  We knew that in order for his immune system to re-boot (the long shot he’s going for) his body would have to go through an extreme crisis…but, wow, this was truly extreme.  However, we are trying to figure out why Dan’s bloodwork is strangely steady, and continues to provide some hope that his spontaneous remission is still possible.

As I said to Dan in the midst of all this, no matter what form of a higher power we believe in, sooner or later we all come to a crisis of some kind in our lives when we know we are no longer in control and must finally ask our higher power to take over and help us. 

As for you, surely, at some level, we are all connected to each other and that is part of the higher power we can all access.  We and Dan are definitely accessing you. Your love, encouragement and prayers have never ceased.  I can’t tell you how many emails and phone calls we get to say that Dan is in your thoughts and prayers every day…on mountain tops, in different countries, at work, in churches, in quiet moments, in prayer circles…it is just stunning…and it is a huge part of our great strength in all of this.

So, thank you Family of Ours to whom we feel truly and deeply connected.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts as, once more, Dan rises again….and this “unusual adventure” enters another chapter.

Love, Tanya

It would be appreciated if everyone could continue to keep him in their thoughts and prayers in this crucial time.

For those of you praying please visualize his bone marrow regenerating with healthy white blood cells and his immune system therefore re-booting.

We will give another update as things progress.

Much love,

Naomi

Thanks so much for the outpouring in response to the last update…it’s was just wonderful…your prayers and love continue to strengthen us all so  much.  I know some of you have tried to get in touch with Dan…but his phone and laptop have been off as he has been focusing all his strength on healing his body. 

Since the really awful time with his liver, over a week ago, Dan has been meditating and resting (watching the odd movie), with Erin in charge of a very special/careful diet & teas for pretty much the whole of last week. He is even off most of his supplements.  Between the two of them, I have seen just unbelievable tenacity and determination.

We have also taken Dan to medical appointments (he’s had blood transfusions and Vitamin C & Glutathione drips)…but for several days, even I didn’t go over to visit…so that Dan could have complete calm and rest. 

Erin, myself & Dan are convinced that we have to go to ‘base’ to get Dan through the pretty serious liver/organ problems he was having. 

Finally, over the last two or three days, we have seen a remarkable come-back.  Although he is still in some referred pain, he’s no longer coughing very much, his liver is no longer tender, his colour is back and he is eating restrictively but very well.  He’s sitting up and walking quite comfortably.  The awful allergies (quite common when your liver is inflammed) seem to be abating…and so now we must be careful to not rush too quickly into thinking all is well!

We are prepared to keep this up until Dan is truly through what has been a really rough patch.  The medical system would probably have said he was in final stages.  However, we are convinced he has to go through some extreme health challenges in order to get his immune system kick-started again if he’s going to achieve the spontaneous remission we all want.  Without pain-killers, anti-biotics or drugs of any kind, it seems Dan is indeed healing himself. 

Both Erin and Dan have got true grit…and Dan trusts his sister completely.  If you are going crazy and want to do something, just visualize as much as you can… Dan as a healthy guy.  Between Dan and Erin’s tenacity and our belief in Dan – and all our prayers & visualizations, we could just be ‘walking on water’.  How can we know except to keep pressing forward? 

Don’t forget that Dan has made it through six months now since his last chemo.  He has made it through the dark months of winter.  The sun is warming the earth of Spring and the plants are budding.  It’s a time of renewal and rebirth…. 

Remember, I told you about the unusual (encouraging) blood test results we got with Dan in the midst of all of this.  He had gone from a high WBC count of 17 to a low of 1.5 in 3 weeks which made the doctors ask what he was doing…and we still don’t know whether to attribute this to the intravenous Vit C and Glutathione, the Naturopathic soup we were giving him, his constant visualization, your prayers, or his film-work. 

We are still trying to figure it out, but whatever it is…while you are praying or visualizing, please pray that this unusual progress in his blood keeps up!!

Dan is convinced that he has lots more fight and healing in him – and he’s really not very interested in too much outside help right now.  He wants to stay steady and on the path he’s chosen.  This doesn’t mean he’s not open to other things, but he wants to move slowly and carefully, and build on the encouraging results he’s having.  This is something that only Dan can sense his way through.

Which brings me to the request.

Those of you who know Dan know how much being in nature means to him.  So, whilst his apartment is wonderfully central, it could not be more urban and noisy.  If he could have his way, Dan would be living on the West Coast right now, with the ocean lapping at his feet and the wild forest in his back yard.  The problem is that this is way too far away from the ongoing transfusions and intravenous supplements he may need.  We also know he cannot yet look after himself, so Erin &/or I have to be nearby.

Therefore, the next best thing would be for Dan to live very close to the forest…perhaps the UBC endowment lands or something like that.  If any of you know of some kind of accomodation, on the ground floor…or with only a couple of steps that would fit that bill, please let us know.  If you know someone who might know someone, then please do take the time to ask.  If you can only visualize Dan living that way, then please do that.

This is a family who believes in miracles – and you, our Blog family, have become such an incredible support, that we would put nothing past you in helping us to tap into the perfect place and situation for Dan.

If you can think of anything, just email me at tnorthcott@odysseylearn.com and I’ll be on it.

Thank you again for all your love, your visualizations, your prayers and your offers of help.  Together, we can.

Happy Easter and much, much love, Tanya

The Roam Event was such an intense event, fufiling all of Dan’s hopes; that it took weeks for us all to recover from it.  Leading up to it, there were radio shows, newspaper articles and TV interviews – many of which you can still link to from Dan’s Roam Event website at www.thezerohundredblock.com.  As a result of that and word of mouth, the 3 shows were heavily subscribed to.  15 wonderful volunteer friends stepped up – checking coats, selling raffle tickets, selling tickets, taking donations, playing food caddy, MC-ing the event.  Sponsors like the Acquilini family (a signed Luono jersey!), the Vancouver Credit Union, Coast Hotels, Sage, several wine companies, local restaurants, a local potter-artist, an equestrian centre, and others stepped up, too.

As a result, after all the expenses, thanks to all the folks who turned out, who donated, and who bought raffle tickets, Dan exceeded his $5000 fund-raising goal and showed his film which was very powerful…and showed his mother that her tragic romantic nomad of a son is indeed a film-makerJ 

He also barely slept for the 3 nights preceding the event, editing his film “Sketches for Roam” right through to 8 am in the morning of the event!  So, as exhausted as we all were, Dan was running on empty….

He had promised that, following the Roam Event, he would stop the editing and turn his attention exclusively to his health and that it would be time to focus on his body through a clens called the “Incurables Clens”…which is very rigorous (30 to 60 days).  Many terminal cancer patients have had success with it – the intention being to kick-start your immune system again.  To do this, he was intending to take off to a Gulf Island with his sister, Erin, who would support him through the process.

Everyone will have a different opinion about what happened instead.  At first, Dan wanted “just a couple of days” to do some last minute minor edits to the film.  Then, he needed a couple of weeks to create a couple of  introductory ‘previews/shorts’ so that it would be easier to interest potential funders for the documentary series he wants to create.  Six weeks later he was still editing…by now he was creating a second film called “Orbicularity”.

During that time, when he was editing, he was truly in his creative bliss and passion.  However, outside of that, he was always anxious to get back to editing.  He still followed his organic food and supplements regime, meditated, and saw Ivan Rados weekly

Dan grew impatient with my enquiries, as in: “The editing, Dan…are we done yet?” 

During this time, while he was ‘on editing fire’ Dan was daring to dream many dreams.  He had gotten copies of his “Sketches for Roam” film to Dianna Krall.  He was thinking about working with Spoon, the singers of the amazing song that plays during his powerful Leukemia in the Hospital film scenes, to re-release  their song with his film scenes and work with the Canadian and US Blood Banks to promote the release of the piece in a drive to encourage young people in North America to give blood.  He was working to finish his second film so that his sister, Erin & brother Matt could shop it in LA to a number of really good contacts we have.  He wanted to work with Vancouver Credit Union to ask them to match his donation to the VGH/UBC Foundation Diana Krall Leukemia and BMT Centre …and to challenge other businesses to match theirs…so that the donation pot could grow. 

Then, in mid-February, he was interviewed at length by Global National TV journalist, Caroline Jarvis.  Unbeknownst to me, Dan had given Global his video taping of the time I had to tell him that the third chemo round had not gotten him remission…and, in fact, his leukemic count was way up.  It was a dark and painful two hours for us, wailing our anguished hearts out.  As many of you who know Dan will know…you never know when that damn camera is on.  Despite that scene, the basic message from Dan to Caroline was that he was not buying the predictions of the medical system that he was terminal and had 3 to 6 months to live – he did not intend to go anywhere.  He was looking for a Spontaneous Remission.  This type of remission is rare and medically unexplained.  Dan’s approach, along with that of the whole family, is that if he loves himself and lives in his bliss,  it will translate at a cellular level, and give him remission.  Caroline Jarvis also interviewed me…saying “come on, your son has been given a death sentence…he’s surely in denial.”  I told her that it was true, and that actually the whole family was officially in conscious denial…and all believed that if others could achieve Spontaneous Remission, there was reason to hope Dan could too.

Needless to say, Dan was in great shape when the piece was filmed.  The 10 minute piece aired on Global’s “618” program on March 15^th, a month later.  It seemed like the whole world saw the piece as well a shorter version on the news.  The roar of cheering came from every direction.  People we’d never heard from wrote to us, too.   

The reality, however, was that by the time the piece aired, Dan was no longer in great physical shape.

Do you remember the shift he made from the traditional chemotherapy path to the other fork in the road?  In November, when Dr Nevill had said the average life expectancy Dan could anticipate was 3 to 6 months, he also added that the “whole story had not be written yet”.  However, after Christmas, Dan went to see Dr. Paul Klimo M.D. F.R.C.P.(C), D.A.B.I.M, D.A.B.M.O. who is extremely highly regarded for his work with terminal cancer patients.  He had said to run, not walk, to the Fred Hutchinson Centre in Seattle…and try to get on a Trial there.

The Fred Hutchinson Centre, the hope of all hopes, had then told Dan that, given his particular type of AML and his lack of reponse to the chemo, that he should run, not walk, to the MD Anderson Centre in Houston…and try to get on a Trial there.

…at which point we knew. 

There was nothing left for the traditional medical system to offer us.  Although this was pretty stunning.  It was also so definitive that there was only one thing left to do.

Try another fork in the road.

Dan began working with spiritual healer, Ivan Rados.  He started naturopathic work in earnest with Dr Matsen & Dr Davies in North Vancouver.  The naturopathic notion being it didn’t matter what disease he had, what had to happen was for Dan to get his organs (Heart, Liver, Spleen, Kidneys & Pancreas) in balance…which meant getting rid of all the harmful metals and chemicals in his system a slowly but surely as possible.  The trick would be to ingest some serious supplements in addition to a very wierd & wonderful soup that has had tremendous success with many people with terminal diagnoses (daikon radish (white), daikon greens (green), burdoch root (yellow), carrot (red) & shitaki mushrooms (brown) – each vegetable matching each organ).  We were warned that Dan might break out in spots in reaction to the soup. Sure enough, he did, so we went more slowly with it.

At this point, everyone agreed a blood transfusion would be good. Dan had one and was feeling pretty darned good.

Even though Dan had caught caught a cough, it seemed dry and uneventful  So, two weeks ago, as he was feeling good and his friend Felix was returning to the US, they decided that a road trip to Kamloops, to visit Dan’s Dad, Tom and Lyn and Nan, was in order, before Felix left.

It turned out not to be such a good idea.  Dan forgot to take his soup, the altitude was much higher than the coast and hard on his oxygen intake, he couldn’t stay in the main house as he had become allergic to the cat and dog, and the dust from the long ride on a gravel road were all just too much for his body.  By the time he returned to Vancouver, his cough was worse, he was exhausted…and a slide began…

We tried to get him back on the soup, but the itchy spots returned in earnest…and, even a second transfusion, intravenous Vitamin C and oxygen did not produce any dicernible results.

Three days ago, at his appartment, Dan developed such extreme pain in his shoulder and under his rib cage that after several hours of this, especially when he coughed, we took him into the Leukemia Day Care Centre at VGH to have someone look at him.

The doctor (Resident/Fellow) who examined him figured he either had an embolism (blood clot) which would not be good, or a lesion on his liver.  When she pressed on the area under his right rib, it was agonizing (where the liver is).   She wanted Dan to immediately get on an antibiotic IV and go to Emergency for admission.  Dan was very clear with her that, he was not interested in going to the Emergency…nor in going on antibiotics until he was sure what was happening.  

She saw whatever this was as a nutural progression of Dan’s Leukemia and was not too impressed with his decision, so Dan explained that in his hospital experience, over the last 8 months, unexplained symptoms often produced over-the-top responses and drugs that would bring on other complications of their own.  So, he was no longer interested in over-reacting and escalating things until he either could not manage the situation or got test results that convinced him.  He told the doctor he would prefer to go home and see if his body could heal itself.  She was completely surprised by this and was even moreso, when she offered Dan painkillers and he refused them.  In the end he agreed to taking a prescription for tablet antibiotics which we would fill so he could take them immediately if necessary.  

I’m not sure why, but at this point, the doctor decided to give Dan a kind of lecture on the fact that he was terminal…  At the time, he handled it by just telling her he wasn’t going anywhere, but later he was very, very upset…as we all were.  Amazing, and she had never even met him before.

Now, the reason I’ve gone into the detail about this incident, is that I’m sure many of you are by now trying to figure out just what’s really going on.   

Is the traditional medical system right and the Leukemia is just wending its way through Dan’s system?

Was Dan right to decide he would rather listen through the fear & anger – and connect with and have faith in his own body to heal itself?

These are not trick questions and I don’t think we know the answers.  

Well, here’s the deal…  the last two days have been unbelievably difficult for Dan who has stayed in his bed “resting”.  This has meant lying on his back, hardly able to move to minimize the pain and the coughing.  Often it was hard to breathe.  He was definitely a yellowish colour.  Erin has stayed with him the whole time, cooking and tending to him.  My friend, Maddy & I have been over, trying to help clean & was…and be company.

Today, the yellow colour has left, he’s still coughing, but can breathe more deeply, sit up and move from side to side.  It may be that Dan’s faith in his body to figure things out has been the right call after all…we’ll keep you posted.

The one thing we know is that this is a marathon and Dan says he’s got lots of life and stamina in him yet.  Pretty well everyone who heals themselves and achieves a Spontaneous Remission has a huge health crisis or two before they begin to heal.  It is thought that this is what kick-starts their immune system into health.  

There really is no ground beneath our feet.  Are we walking in nothingness – or walking on water?  With your love, prayers and support, we’ll take the miracle of life and Dan being with us as we walk on – our eyes firmly on the horizon.

Bless you all.  Love, Tanya

Hi Everyone,

I’m sure you are wondering what’s been going on…and the answer is LOTS!

Dan has been working 16 hour days – a man in his (stressed!) BLISS.

For those of you who don’t know, ever since 1999, Dan has been a video-taking man.  He’s been positively obsessed and annoying J… when did we ever see him without the camera in his hand?…but very few parts of his life have gone unrecorded. 

These videos now comprise some 1000 hours and encompass his life from age 18 to 28.  They follow his existence (through a young Canadian’s eyes) as he grows up, goes through events with family and friends – and rites of passage, travels the world, teaches, plays, and explores.

Crossing 10 years, 4 continents, 2 subcontinents and a thousand Islands…he is always ‘the boy’ with the movie-camera in his hand – or one in each hand – capturing the moment….and tossing it in a box to be edited one day.

Of course, Dan was always planning on getting around to editing, but life just kept getting in the way.  Over those ten years, we observed as Dan went from being

Lazy, fun-loving and playful to

Engaged, tuned-in and open to

Somewhat jaded and hugely opinionated;

but his passion for the world never abated.  Perhaps we all go through this.  But for Dan, it was in this latter stage that the Leukemia happened.

After throwing everything at Dan that they could for 5 months, the medical system had to come up with a pretty devastating prognosis for Dan of 3 to 6 months to live. 6 weeks ago, he realized he had played by the rules…and he was not winning. 

I think it is safe to say that that is when Dan “woke up”. 

During the time he was ‘playing by the rules’ and undergoing the chemotherapy, etc, he was sure that he was getting the best of care and all he had to do was pay attention and he would get through.  No such luck.  So what was the message he was not getting?

He began to realize that he had always put his big dream on hold – the dream of editing his films and creating a compelling set of stories set against the backdrop and music of the times.  He had been denying a large part of his whole creative self.

He started to realize much of his frustration and jadedness stemmed from the fact he was often living his life through a camera’s eye, but not examining and editing it to give it the meaning and message he felt it held.  Could he have been holding back out of fear; fear of failing…or even succeeding…or just plain living?

Most of his family and friends have been waiting for this to happen for a long time, but we never dreamed that Dan needed to experience something as profound as Leukemia to get the message, which, for him was: “Stop playing around and get on with your bliss, man!”

It’s Dan’s dream to turn his 1000 hours of film into a 10 part documentary series for television.  In order to do that, he has to find funding and/or a patron.  In order to do that, he has to create a preview of what he wants to do. Capiche?!

So for the past 6 weeks, Dan has been living his life in his passion and bliss to fulfill his dream.  On his 29^th birthday (January 23^rd), he dove in at the deep end and put the rental of a theatre hall, and a beautiful one, on his credit card, booked for February 15^th.  Why?

Diana Krall’s mother died of multiple myeloma, but not before she was given 6 more years with her family, thanks to the help of a BMT from VGH.  Since then, Diana has done a series of benefit concerts that have raised millions of dollars for VGH Foundation and have funded the Diana Krall Leukemia and BMT facility at VGH – from which many, many people like Dan have benefitted.  On February 16^th of this year, Diana Krall is giving a ‘by invitation’ black-tie Gala Benefit Concert in Vancouver – with Elvis Costello and Elton John as her guests – to raise money for the foundation to fight blood cancer. 

Dan decided he would throw his own benefit party event, tied to hers, in the hopes he could make two things happen:

1. Tell his story by introducing his film preview – a screening of 10 interwoven capsules relating to the 10 parts of his documentary series

His screening will connect its plot-bytes through stunning music to universal world events of the past 10 years producing an evolutionary ode to time, love, and creativity: a Legend of Life that will be universally understood and related to by everyone who has searched for meaning and belonging; tuned out and turned cynical; and woken up to the SHOUT of paying attention and being fully alive and engaged in the moment and movement of life.

      2.      Use this event to raise money and awareness among his people and their networks so that they can have the opportunity to contribute to the          Diana Krall Foundation, too.

Well, that sounds easy, especially to do it in 3 weeks, doesn’t it??  Most people shake their heads and say it just can’t be done. 

Well, everyone, I’m watching in absolute awe.  Since Dan’s birthday, a team of 3 editors and Dan are going through literally hundreds of hours of film, challenged by so little time, to put together the compelling preview for Feb 15^th.  Posters, tickets, and brochures are being designed.  Outlets for buying tickets are being set up.  A website has been created.  The event is being plotted and planned, down to the last detail to ensure that everyone has a wonderful time, is compelled by the film and the cause, and feels meaningfully engaged.  Friends are helping with press releases, putting up posters, and spreading the word.  Interviews are starting to happen. Mega event organization is ongoing.  We might have had only three weeks instead of three months, but we are going for it!!

So, people, we want you to let others know about the event…and to come!

It’s called “Sketches for Roam”.  Go to www.thezerohundredblock.com which is the website.  All the details are there.  Tickets are $30 or $38 …typical Dan…you choose.  Every penny, after costs, will go through the Diana Krall Blood Cancer Foundation to benefit Leukemia. 

The ticket price includes valet parking, an open bar (two drinks included), a tapas food bar, a presentation by the filmmaker, and one of three screenings at 4:30 p.m., 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.

The website has been up for 3 days and already 150 people have signed up!  450 people in total can be accommodated with 150 people per screening.

In the middle of this, engaged in every meeting and on 100’s of phone calls, is Dan.  Any worries I might have had that he did not have the stamina for this has dissipated.  He’s meditating.  He’s taking his multiple supplements.  He’s eating organically, with lots of vegetable juiced drinks, and minimizing any acidic intake (no caffeine, sugar or meat …just fish). 

Dan has decided that “denial” is the way to go.  That he’s going to be governed by how he feels and not by anything else.  That he’s going to take the reins in his life. It’s a small indicator, but his last blood test went up a little, not down. Does bliss translate at a cellular level?  Well, we will see.

See you on February 15^th!

Love and big ‘arms around’…   Tanya

The short version in Dan’s words….

Crossing 10 years, 4 continents, 2 subcontinents and a thousand Islands…

This is a story about a young, tragic romantic nomad who moonlights as an existential detective documentary filmmaker, investigating the nature of space, time and the universe… and then eventually his own case.

In a shocking, much foreshadowed plot twist, holding his life in the balance; at 28 he is given 6 months to live.

He begins to realize he was not only living, but also narrating, the story and erasing himself from it.

At which point he asked his tragic romantic heart, “If I am living my perfect film, what kind of ending did I expect.”

Suddenly in a race against time, he is madly trying to unlock his secret mind and write himself a twist-middle, rather than an ending; surrendering to life, love, faith, and the creative process.

But here’s the real twist, which you might have gathered…  It’s a documentary; I am narrating it; I have a deadly form of Leukemia that the doctors say is terminal…and my name is Dan Northcott.

Family in Denial: Rocky Tom Tanya Dan Erin